Current mood: Mood? No "mood" MOODS! Angry, pissed off, depressed, and full of rage.

I think it's time for new friends. But college is SO FAKE!! I can't believe people have relationships during this time. All the ones I've had were so fake and unreal it's stupid.

I'm unhappy now and I think I always will be. I am pushing people away and I will continue to push people away. I just want to be happy, but people don't make me happy. I don't make myself happy. I want to be left alone but I don't want to be alone. It's one big vicious cycle. I don't want to be hurt and that's all that's happening. I hurt myself and others in the process. The only one I'm happy with isn't happy with me and if he is I don't see it, prolly because I'm just unhappy inside myself. Im selfish in my wants but what I want isn't much. It's too much to ask of people but they ask everything of me.

I'm tired; so tired. I'm morbid now and I don't know why. I'm sick of all the shit, I'm sick of the way I am, I'm sick of others dominating me and I'm sick to DEATH of being unhappy. Why can't I just be happy? I'm only 20 and I don't even want to see tomorrow. Everyone dislikes me and I dislike them too. They can all fuck themselves. I'm not here to be liked I just want to live my life and I can't because they make it so damn hard to. I even make it hard to.

I just want some peace. A place for my head. To rest. Is it so damn much to want?